Surprising.

You know what's actually incredibly fun, that I've never really done seriously before?

...Outlining a novel.

No, I'm completely serious. Gone are the days of freewriting a story that just happens to turn out novel-length. (Well.... eheh. Maybe that's gonna take a while...)

The reason I say such things is because I started doing my NaNo outline yesterday in a fit of boredom and lacking things to do. And... it was highly entertaining. Then again, it could just be my topic that I've decided on doing, or the rather quirky characters that are slowly coming to fruition in my brain. I mean... with names like Phoenix and Starflower, where can you go wrong?

But then there's regular old Robert, my main character. And then I realize it must not be only the names that are doing it for me. It's also a royal pain to find a last name for him. (Any ideas?)

The thing that's not so fun about NaNo is the rule about not being able to actually write any part of the novel before November 1st. So the snippets of dialogue floating around in my head yesterday? I can only hope they'll return with a bunch of their buddies for the big party in a month and a half.

In other news, the 3 hours of Heroes last night was completely and awesomely epic. :D

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"Stare" Rough Draft

Rough draft of a poem I started on the 16th, but fleshed out and completed this afternoon. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. :D

“Don’t stare,” says your mother.
“It’s not polite.”
But you do.
Everybody does.

Eyes wide in longing,
disgust, shock,
unbridled curiosity—
Everybody stares.

The girl swathed in black,
cutting across the grass
to feel the dew on her toes—

The woman donning a headscarf
and long sleeves, even in
the harsh sunshine of summer—

The man, unshaven, standing on
the street corner with his sign
“Please Help” while cars whiz past—

The freaks, the outcasts,
the downtrodden, misunderstood,
sick and healthy, whole and amputee,
those for whom there is nothing, or everything,
who do not or have always belonged—

Everybody stares.

Even you who listen, right now,
with eyes wide in shock
and disgust, or idle curiosity;
while your mother’s voice whispers
“Don’t, it’s not polite.”

Let me tell you something.

Polite has no place
here, in this life so limited,
where each second is precious.

So damn your mother—stare—soak it in—
open your eyes
and see.

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My new, immediate goal in life...

...is to get a job so I can afford to see Celtic Thunder live on December 1st. *swoon*

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Color me tectonic

I've decided that it's high time for some shifting.

Firstly - I went for a jog this morning. It was quite nice, once I got over all the sweatiness and shortness of breath, haha. I'm going to try and keep it up, even on Tuesdays and Thursdays... I figure as long as I need to get up early for school, I might as well make the most of it.

Secondly - I'm finally cracking down on my procrastination. Well, that's the plan, anyway. As of today, I haven't started yet. ^_^

Uhh... there was something else I was going to write about, I swear...

Blah. My mind shorted on me. Oh well. I guess I'd better actually start on the homework I'm not supposed to be procrastinating on.

(edit, like one minute later)

Oh, now I remember what I was going to write about! The LHC! If you haven't heard about it, click on the link, it should take you to an offshoot of the actual Wikipedia article on it. I just thought I'd mention how ironic it is that I'm deciding to make some changes when the LHC could potentially create micro black holes and destroy the Earth in a matter of months...I think the estimate is 50? But that's only if something goes wrong.

And then, since I've been toying with the idea of doing NaNoWriMo again this year, I had the idea last night to write about a person's (leaning towards a male protagonist) quest to do everything he's ever wanted to do in life, all before the world ends. Potential title? 50 Months. Thanks, LHC! :D

Haha. Okay, that's it. I should really go do that homework now.

Toodles!

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Avoiding homework

...which I should really stop doing. It's only the 3rd week of school, and I think I'm behind already. >.< Stolen from Maya, via MySpace.

Who was the last perso​n to hold your hand?
I dunno, someone at church.

Who was the last perso​n you threw​ out of your life?
They leave of their own volition.

What would​ you chang​e about​ your life right​ now?
Perhaps having more of an actual social life instead of a cyber one?

What'​​​​​​s on your bedro​om floor​ right​ now?
A bunch of crap that has accumulated from lack of storage and my laziness when it comes to cleaning.

What'​​​​​​s curre​ntly bothe​ring you?
Nothing at this moment.

Do you regre​t somet​hing you did yeste​rday?
Moping probably wasn't smart. I did get that nifty poem out of it, though, so, I dunno...

Has a girl put their​ arm aroun​d you in the past 5 days?​​​​​​
Yeah, what of it?

How many windo​ws are open on your compu​ter?​​​​​​
3, and iTunes.

Are you shy?
Yep.

Does the thoug​ht of marri​age scare​ you?
No way. It's just so far away it's weird to think about.

Are you close​ with your sibli​ngs?​​​​​​
Closer than we were when we were growing up. But you can have my brother if you want, I can do without him. ;)

How many kids do you want?​​​​​​
No more than two. Twins would be a lot of fun. ^^

The way to win your heart​?
​​​​​​Be genuine, gentle, and honest.

Has someo​ne disap​point​ed you latel​y?​​​​​​
Eh, myself.

Do you have plans​ for this weeke​nd?​​​​​​
Poway Days coming up on Saturday...

Where​ did you sleep​ last night​?​​​​​​
My bed?

Are you happy​ right​ now?
Content.

Do you think​ relat​ionsh​ips are ever reall​y worth​ it?
That would depend upon a lot of things. But it's all experience, right? That has to count for something.

Would​ you rathe​r be the heart​broke​n or the heart​break​er?​​​​​​
I'd rather be niether.

Have you ever been heart​broke​n?​​​​​​
Yeah...

How did you feel when you woke up today​?​​​​​​
Surprised at the music that was suddenly playing on my wannabe iHome.

When'​​​​​​s the last time you cried​?​​​​​​
Last night.

Do you belie​ve in love?
Yeah.

Do you miss anyon​e?
Always.

Curre​nt mood?
​​​​​​Content.

Are you too forgi​ving?
There's such a thing?

Would​ you go back in time if you were given​ the chanc​e?​​​​​​
We'll just have to see, now, won't we.

Do you think​ you will be in a relat​ionsh​ip three​ month​s from now?
I highly doubt it.

Do you need to say anyth​ing to someo​ne?​​​​​​
'Need' is a matter of perspective.

Do you have a reaso​n to smile​ right​ now?
Sure. Am I, though? Nah.

Do you care what other​s think​ of you?
Sometimes.

Do you think​ you'​​​​​​ll be marri​ed in 10 years​?​​​​​​
I don't even want to think about that.

Have you ever found​ it hard to tell someo​ne you like them?​​​​​​
Who hasn't??? And if someone ever answers this question in the negative, I want to meet them, become their disciple, and make them divulge all their secrets.

Ever turne​d a girl/​​​​​​boy down you shoul​dn'​​​​​​t have?​​​​​​
I've never encountered a serious offer before. But I suppose subtly. Once. And now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have.

Are you open about​ your feeli​ngs or close​d off?
Depends on my mood. But generally closed.

Think​ of the last perso​n you told "I love you" to, did you mean it?
Probably.

What is wrong​ with you right​ now?
Procrastinating, tired.

How is your hair?​​​​​​
In need of a wash.

Story​ behin​d your MySpa​ce song?
"Save" by The Rocket Summer. No story, I just freaking love that song.

When was the last time you had butte​rflie​s?
​​​​​​Oh, geez... uh... I don't even know.

Are you good at hidin​g your feeli​ngs?​​​​​​
Depends on how well you know me, and whether we're talking in person or not.

Are you afrai​d of falli​ng in love?​​​​​​
No.

How much sleep​ did you get last night​?​​​​​​
About 7 hours or so.

How was your day?
Half way over. So far, boring and unproductive.

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"That day"

That day, I felt like dancing.

Smokey clouds over head, a canopy of
abundant rolling energy,
restless and peaceful, all at once.

One reckless step, then another
into the deluge
swathed in another’s jacket,
since you were too stubborn to
wear one of your own.

Your eyes laugh as
you shake your head,
repeatedly insisting;

My hair drips water down my back,
spilling onto my face,
teardrops,

But there’s no sadness here.
Not yet.

That day was warmth.

You were right.

That day, cold fingertips reached
to touch the sky,
touch your face.

That day, I fell short.

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Flatter

I got called 'cute' today. Over IM. By a guy I barely know, and whom I haven't seen (in person) in years. It was quite interesting.

I think he's desperate for a girlfriend. It kinda makes me feel bad. All the same, I'm going to be bracing myself if we keep talking and he eventually decides to ask me out. He has somewhat of a history of this, you see.

I dunno. I kinda get where he's coming from. Though to say right now I could care less if I was dating someone would be a lie, I think it's getting to that point. Slowly. There are other things to focus on. Not to mention the fact that I'm still getting over someone, but that's an entirely different topic altogether. And, if I remember correctly, I think I swore him off (or at least talking about him in here) months ago, so...

However, I think I'm going to flatter myself and say that I was never really so desperate once upon a time.

Or, perhaps I was, just never so outspoken about it.

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"The Red Leaf"

I've had this mental image of this leaf I saw on the blacktop at school back on Thursday. As we were supposed to write a poem over the weekend about an inanimate object for Creative Writing (I love that class so much), I guess it's a good thing it's been stuck in my head.

Before I put the poem here, I must share some news: The "Dr. Horrible" soundtrack is now out on iTunes!! It makes me so happy; I even had a dream about it a few weeks ago, hahaha. Alas, I have no money. -_- I need a job. I think I might pop into the Halloween store that sets up down the street around this time and see if they're still hiring.

Anyway, here's the poem. Comments are always greatly appreciated. :D

"The Red Leaf"

Cascading, great gulps
of air as it spins,
flickering--old photographs,
regrets.
I watch the graceful
tumble-down of memory,
immune to time and space, but
not the laws of Gravity;
it Falls,
bleeding scarlet on ebony,
silent,
still.

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