Le Blah.

It's currently almost 1 a.m., and I should be going to bed... for the hell of it, though, I just felt like going on Blogger...

L.A. was fun, and interesting, remind me to talk about screaming in whispers some other time when I'll be reasonably coherent.

Oh, and on Friday, I should have more things to talk about, as I plan on visiting the high school. I am dreadfully excited and nervous at the same time; excited because I get to see Amy for the first time in literally months, nervous because... well... I'm attempting to get some sort of closure from him. At least find out what the hell his problem is and why he refuses to email me back. -_- <-- angst face. Of course, closure sounds good, yeah? Give me a chance to get over myself and him? The problem is: I'm not sure if I want to do that. It's confusing and very pathetic, maybe I'll explain later...

Til next time, then.

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Four day weekend, heck yes.

Today is officially no different than any other day, aside from those slight factors that indeed do make it different and grant me the peace of mind that I'm really not living the same day over and over again.

(...That sentence was kind of confusing for me to read again, but it's past midnight, so that might have something to do with it.)

Anyway, so class is out for the weekend, and monday is Veteran's Day, so no class then... Darah has invited me to go with her to Los Angeles for the weekend and play the tourist game, even though we live, like, two hours away, haha.

I just hope I don't end up strangling her or some such thing; it always seems that everytime I spend time with her, I get upset or all riled up about something. Last time had been in September when she had told me something about... well, let's just say it has to do with the guy that I've been angsting over recently, but in all reality this has been going on for much longer than that; in fact, I think it'll be a year in December....

Anyway, she told me something I found interesting: over the summer, apparently said guy had been asking about me... like, naming me specifically... I thought I was going to pass out, honestly. I was like, why NOW; why couldn't I just walk away quietly, even though I couldn't get my thoughts away from him for very long over the summer, once I finally figured everything out...

I'm just absolutely pathetic sometimes, you have no idea.

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For Clarity

So I was just reading through all my previous posts and realized that I never finished up about Sean... well, I've been "over it" as the expression goes, for a few months, he's dating someone now, actually... he was just a rebound sort of thing anyway, this current one has been going on for a while... no names yet, I don't feel quite comfortable sharing; he is, however, still in high school...

Yeah, sorry about that and any confusion. o_~

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Just a day, just an ordinary day...

I've decided to try and stick with this again, even though I haven't been able to keep up any sort of journal--conventional or online--regularly.

Blah... that basically sums up my life at the moment, especially today. Class was interesting, though; who knew the Crusades could be so dramatic? I love the History Channel, God bless them for providing the means for a way to break up the monotony of my Western Civ class... And of course World Music is interesting, even though we watch far too many videos instead of actually listening and critiqueing recordings, which is really what I'd like to do instead. I understand the need for us to learn about the culture and the impetus and rationale behind the music, but it can be a bit much sometimes.

In other "news"... well, ha, there is no other news. Oh, I'm terribly behind on my NaNoWriMo... What's that? You don't know what NaNoWriMo is? Why, my good friend, it is the month of November, a month where, all across the globe, insane people like myself attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. I'm getting sort of discouraged on my progress, because I was supposed to hit 10,000 yesterday, yet haven't even broken 8,000... but I'm interested to see how far I do get at the end of the month, even if I don't finish. If you want to read it, I'm posting it on my FanFiction site (which is in the links section on the right), since I suck at doing originals already, and I shudder to think what this month of frantic, half-concieved writing would look like if I had gone that route...

And I still don't understand guys. Well, one in particular comes to mind that continues to ellude my comprehension and haunt my thoughts, but, yeah, I don't understand guys in general, either. *huffs*

Until tomorrow, then.

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...In which I bitch about life.

Wow, I haven't done this in a while.

What can I say without baring my darkest secrets for all to see? Perhaps I should start doing that, I know it'd be a heck of a lot more interesting to read about...

Haven't dropped out of Community College yet, though I have skipped once or twice (shhh...); it makes me feel adventurous, haha.

The thing I don't like about life right now is pretty much everything. I've quite honestly never felt so lost in my life. It's like I'm floating, suspended in thin air between ups and downs, though I have crashed several times (oh, have I ever...). I miss everyone, I'm more anti-social than ever, I rot my brain on the computer, and I'm still not mobile, but did finally get my driver's permit last month, huzzah...

I want to go back to high school. I miss it like mad, it's driving me absolutely nuts.

Oh, and did I mention my pathetic excuse for a love life now has me pining away over someone I haven't talked to since June and refuses to answer my emails for some unknown reason? My good friend Matt told me once that I could do so much better, and I'd honestly like to believe that, but right now, I'd be willing to go to hell and back for this guy, no matter how much I really, really, really want to beat the shit out of him for being so stupid and for making me hurt.

My emotions fluctuate from cynicism, apathy, and depression, with no end in sight; the weather and changing of the seasons isn't helping much, either.


...Someone once said that the college experience would be some of the best years of your life. Obviously, they were wrong.

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