The Dentist is the spawn of Satan...

Yeah. Dentist visit this afternoon. *shudders*

It rained again today, only it was more expected, rather than last Thursday's storm. I didn't mind so much, but maybe I got all the bad vibes out of my system yesterday. Yesterday was just not a very good day for the first half, I woke up in a bad mood and stayed that way until after I got back home. I even skipped both of my classes; I just didn't want to be there at all. It was all overcast yesterday and I was reading this book and it got really intense and I just wandered around campus until it was time for me to call my dad to get picked up again. Several times I wanted to just burst into tears for no reason at all, but I decided to hold it in til I got home--I made up my mind to take a nice long walk and sort everything out.

Which I did. It was very peculiar; I got home and the skies started clearing up, but for some reason looking up at the patch of blue made me want to just lose it right there in the middle of the street. I had meant to go to the local neighborhood park and just sit on the swings like I did the last time I needed to take a walk--back in January, the day Tiina died. But I missed the street the shortcut was on, but by the time I realized it I didn't want to turn back, so I just headed into the hills instead, wandering on some trails.

Mind you, though I'm parked in the middle of suburbia, there are still these patches of wild left here and there, and I stumbled across one on my walk through the neighborhood. Feeling a little better in spirits and much like the main character in Pride and Prejudice, I just went for it, not quite sure where I was going.

I liked it that way. I explored for a bit, just following the trail wherever it lead; at one point I climbed to the top of a hill and was able to see the whole neighborhood for a good distance. By that point the clouds were less frequent, and I was feeling so much better. Standing up there alone, just looking at it all with the wind in my face was so refreshing, and it was like something melted off of my shoulders for a while. After staying up there for a few more minutes, I decided to head back home, decidedly better.

After reflecting, it's just moments like this that make me convinced that things are starting to get better. I've also started talking again with this guy I knew in high school that I liked for literally years--it feels good to be talking to him again, even if it is only online. I don't know, I just think it's what I've been looking for recently, a way to consolidate the past with the present, if that makes any sense.

...Ugh. I still smell like dentist office...