- survive this month, or until Spring Break (April 3!)
- don't go insane (entirely possible)
- fill out FAFSA form (ugh)
- apply to UMF (Maine or bust!)
- find a job (guh)
- find and read a copy of Watchmen (before March 6th?)
- finish Buffy and Angel before summer (May 22!)
- other stuff I am forgetting (it happens.)
I also seriously think I need to get away from the internet for a week.
8. Felicia Day. You probably know her from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (if you don't, fix that now), but her other credits include appearances on Buffy the Vampire Slayer as well as writing for, producing, and starring in the web series The Guild. And she's adorable. Look at that.
7. Katee Sackhoff. I first got acquainted with Katee via her role as Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace on Battlestar Galactica (pictured above). Not only is she gorgeous (not convinced? click here), she can also kick your ass. What more can you ask for?
6. Jewel Staite. I love love love love her in Firefly and Serenity. Just... endless amounts of love. She's just so adorably beautiful. I don't understand it.
5. Eliza Dushku. You may know her as Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but if you're not watching Dollhouse (9pm, Fridays on FOX), you need to start. Aside from it being more Joss Whedon, Eliza stars as Echo, the main "doll" or Active that the show follows. Two episodes in, I'm getting the feeling that each week we get to see Eliza tackle a brand new role as her character acquires new memories, skills, and even a unique personality required to complete different "Engagements", which is pretty neat, if you ask me. Plus, she's so pretty. (Catch up on Dollhouse here.)
4. Grace Park. Yet another regular on Battlestar Galactica. (Hey, it's a good show.) I'm not sure what it is about her, but every time I look at her, she just draws me in.
3. Amy Adams. Honestly, need I say more?
2. Tina Fey. I love Tina Fey. She's beautiful, hysterically funny, and a genius. There's seriously very little that is more sexy than an intelligent woman who can write, friends. ;) (And yes, I know. I need to start watching 30 Rock.)
1. Alyson Hannigan. I absolutely adore Alyson Hannigan. Not only is she insanely attractive (click here to see another picture I found), she's quite possibly my favorite actress out there for the moment. I have yet to see her on How I Met Your Mother--it's on my list, though. Trust me. I'll get there--but what I've seen so far of her work on Buffy (currently finishing up Season Six), she just keeps getting progressively more awesome. Love it!I must confess that I've gotten super bored with the layout of my blog, so over the next couple of days I'll be trying out new templates. I'm also not very good at html, so my apologies if you happen to drop by and it's really, really funky.
Read more...In the span of a little over a month, I have lost three goldfish (River, Kaylee, and Simon) and a dog (Sandi). The goldfish were only mildly disappointing, but Sandi... well, we've had her for a long time. So she was old, it was just... very unexpected. I just hope it was painless, poor thing. -sigh- Rest in peace, darling.
Long story short, my pets need to stop dying.
I have a week to finish my transfer app for Chapman. Whoever invented the Common App should be shot, is all I have to say about that.
I also have a short story due on Tuesday, and I still have no idea what to write about. It's kind of awful. But I think I work best under pressure when it comes to school assignments and things, so I'm hoping for something good in the twilight moments before my class on Tuesday. And by twilight moments, I mean Sunday and Monday. I'm not that crazy.
Lastly, I think I've stumbled upon something of an epiphany. Not anything huge, and I suppose it's pretty obvious, but sometimes it's the obvious things that are hardest to strike at.
"I honestly don't know why I feel such an obligation to make others happy, even people like E*** and B**** who are just so draining to talk to, but I'm trying. I suppose it's a whole work in progress thing. Start small and all. And I think a part of it with [my sister] is that I feel so helpless because I can't do anything, and it's eating me up. I generally don't appreciate feeling helpless, you know? But I guess it's just a matter of accepting things for how they are, and not trying to change them so desperately. Like beating your head against a wall hoping it moves at some point, I suppose. It's just kinda pointless in the long run and it hurts you really bad." - from an email I wrote to Morgan.
Like I said, obvious, but still pretty impressive, if I do say so myself.
Well, that's about it for this post. Hopefully, if all goes according to plan, the next post shall be much more entertaining. I just want to see how Maya pulls hers off, first. ^_^
(Courtesy of Gretchen. Make your own superhero HERE!)
Mwahaha. You know, she looks more like a villain than a superhero, but that's fine by me. Except the name almost sounds like Chingrish. Rather intimidating, though. Just look at all that spandex.
Random facts of the day, brought to you by Maya texting me from Borders whilst reading this book:
- In Alaska, you can't push a live moose from an airplane.
- In Arkansas, it's illegal to pronounce 'Ar-kan-sas'.
- You will break the law in Connecticut when your bicycle reaches speeds in excess of 65 mph.
- You can't tie a giraffe to a lampost in Georgia.
- Kansas condemns the use of ice cream on cherry pie, whale hunting, snowball fights, and screaming at haunted houses.
- In Mississippi, it is illegal to teach others the meaning of polygamy.
It's ridiculous laws like these that make me want to take a road trip across the country with the sole intention of breaking them.
I wonder about lots of things. Little things. Like why I still wear this pair of jeans despite the fact that they are broken (long story). I wonder why I haven't been writing much lately. I wonder what the title of this song is. I wonder about crickets, and what they do in a rainstorm. I wonder why I adore foreign accents so much.
I wonder if it is considered rude and bitchy to simply ignore someone who has attempted to contact you via Instant Message.
Thoughts?
I am forgettable.
Easily spotted, not-so-easy
to explain away.
There is laughter there
where pain was--
is.
I remind you
of your childhood.
Of dresses flirting with knees
Of games played in bathrooms,
echoing caverns
where no one hears you scream.
There is no blood
Only bone
Bypassing the heart
as iron connects
and strikes instead at the skeleton of things.
Odd quote of the day: "Do you believe in dinosaurs?"
Odd (but laugh-out-loud awesome) idea of the day: social experiments via Facebook status.
....and, this conversation:
Today, I woke up and went to class.
Today, I skipped another one of my classes that I shouldn't have.
Today, I learned about the earth, moon, and stars.
Today, I snapped at people I shouldn't have.
Today, I watched way too much good television.
Today, I talked to good people. Great people. People I love very much.
Today I said some things about myself that I'm not sure I meant.
I buried things that I don't want to face.
I lied.
I let myself break down and cry. Again.
Today I figured out that I don't know who I am anymore.
I'm scared.
My eyes feel like they are bruised and have permanent bags under them. No, I'm not going to check in a mirror to see if this feeling is accurate.
Yesterday was rough for the reasons that I was super tired and have bad luck. And the fact that it was Monday, and my schedule on Mondays just plain sucks. I also came to the stunning realization that I freak out if I don't have my phone on me (I left it at home, which did nothing for me but make me even more miserable and on edge), which I think is somewhat pathetic. I should probably fix this, but I don't really I want to.
It was just one of those days that makes me want to live in my room and sleep all day instead of dealing with life. I even skipped my first two classes (the first one because I was late getting to school, the second just because). It reminded me of one day last February where I sat in the library at Miramar and read Cut and then walked around outside in the cold and came close to crying until it was time to go home instead of going to my classes. (I also remember that after I got home, I went for a long walk in my neighborhood listening to a few songs on continuous loop on my iPod, and did, in fact, cry a lot for no reason. But luckily, that didn't happen yesterday, though I did come very close on a few occasions in the computer lab.)
And it wasn't even overcast yesterday, like it was on that day last year. It was sunny, and way too hot for February.
I guess the point of my writing all of this is that I'm just sick of feeling so sad and hopeless on some days that I literally don't know what to do with myself. Sure, it goes away eventually, but then what? What happens the next time? And the next? I have little to no control over it, and I don't want it to happen again, but it just seems inevitable, which I hate. A lot.
I'm just... so tired. Of everything. It feels like I'm unraveling, fraying at the edges. Like I'm walking on this tightrope, but every other step I'm in serious danger of just falling off altogether.
And it's days like this that make me want to give up, to just jump off the tightrope and hope there's a safety net waiting beneath me, but at the same time I know that I can't. Because that's taking the easy way out, and nothing truly good ever came from taking the easy way.
At least, that's what I told Jessica last week. And it doesn't hurt to abide by my own advice.
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