Today
Today, I woke up and went to class.
Today, I skipped another one of my classes that I shouldn't have.
Today, I learned about the earth, moon, and stars.
Today, I snapped at people I shouldn't have.
Today, I watched way too much good television.
Today, I talked to good people. Great people. People I love very much.
Today I said some things about myself that I'm not sure I meant.
I buried things that I don't want to face.
I lied.
I let myself break down and cry. Again.
Today I figured out that I don't know who I am anymore.
I'm scared.
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I wish I knew the words to say, but I don't.
Get some help, really. The people here and that you know support you, but no one should have to go through this. Especially alone. I'll pray for you.
The Hug Poem by Bradley Hathaway
I read about how you touched them and they were healed
Or even if someone just touched your cloak they were forever changed
You let a broken women bathe your feet in her tears
And you washed your best friend’s feet
I am just wondering though did you just ever hug people
I mean I know that it is a silly question and all I am sure you would have why wouldn’t you
But its one of those things that was never mentioned that got me thinking about it
And how whenever there was a touch from you sins were forgiven and sickness fell
I think I’m caught up in my sins last time I checked all my body parts were properly working, nothing special here
I am just a kid with a heavy heart these passing sunrises and sunsets
I don’t think our encounter would have ended up in the gospels or anything
Because all I really need is a hug
That is ok for me to imagine right
That’s not going to be conflicting with any sort of theology is it
Ok good, then hug me
But not one of these side ways one arm around the neck type hugs
Or the ghetto right hand clasp fists elbows to chest pit pat on the back back
Or you put your right arm over my right arm and I put my left arm over your left arm and we make this weird sort of diagonal thing
Nah none of those
BEAR HUG ME MAN
Take your old school carpenter arms and throw them over my upper body leaving my arms dangling underneath yours somewhere and I can barely move them because your squeezing so hard
But don’t pick me up and make my back pop because I hate it when people do that
And hold me, hold me here in your arms until I start to cry because
I WANT TO CRY
But I just can’t seem to do it on my own
I have been teary eyed once recently but not even enough for a drip down my cheek
There's just hurt in my soul that needs to be purged so hold me in this hold pose until the pain is flowing from my eyes and nose
Thank you, all. :)
And Edge, a special thanks for posting that poem. :D
I've been going through the same thing - questioning who I am and my whole life, etc, and I found that poem a couple days ago. I'm really glad you liked it.
^ I loved it. Thank you so much. And I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through the same thing, because sometimes it is not pretty. But take care, okay? :)
Oh my gosh, I so agree with the "I said some things about myself that I'm not sure I meant."
I remember saying something and later, I was like, did I really mean that?
I didn't. And now it's haunting me.
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