Twilight Movie Review

Here it is, folks. The much-anticipated movie review from yours truly. (Spoilers, obviously.)

First off, it was fun... only because I was with friends and making obnoxious comments. I hope I pissed people off. I usually don't talk in movies (in fact, I despise people who do), but this opportunity was way too good to pass up. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

On to the movie. I rated it a 3 on imbd.com. Out of 10. It truly was awful. The acting was mediocre, the special effects were horrible, the cinematographer must have been on crack (I got a headache from the blurs and the constant circular panning of the camera. Seriously, what...?). Really the only thing that saved it were the particular attractiveness of some of them... seriously, Carlisle, Jacob (except for the hair, ew), James (*swoon*). Alice and Esme were adorable, and Victoria was drop-dead gorgeous. Very beautiful people working on a crap-tastic movie. Go out and watch it, seriously. My snark cannot fully express how awful the special effects were. I was waiting for the point where Edward shows Bella what his skin does in the sunlight.... *shudder*. Oh, it was gross. It looked to me like he was not sparkling, but rather sweating radioactive material.

The only reason I didn't give it a 1 or a 0 out of ten were these: the baseball scene was rather well done, the actor portraying Charlie Swan, Bella's father, was actually quite decent and gave the character some depth (there is a scene where he is cleaning a shot gun and Bella informs him that she has a date with Edward. The few seconds that follow are kick ass.). Also, in the ballet studio, Alice gets a kick-ass moment of her own in the form of violently snapping James' neck. It was quite glorious.

All in all... if you're looking for some good times and laughs with some friends, I advise you go and see it. If you're looking for a quality movie, however... spare yourself the time and wasted braincells and go see something intelligent instead.